Duct and Cover
Many, many moons ago, when I was first starting to sew in earnest, my mom and I would go down to this huge fabric store in Evanston. To my teenage eyes, calibrated for JoAnns and Michael’s, Vogue Fabrics was a revelation. First of all, they had some fabric on rolls, not on bolts, which was pretty glamorous. They had a room that was almost entirely lace. They had silks that WEREN’T shantung. Best of all, they had the sickest sales. We would walk out of that place with bags and bags of fabric (much of which I STILL have because I’m a legit hoarder).
On our way out, we’d always pick up their class flyer, and without fail, they would have an ad depicting old- and based on their stout figures and the proximity of their breasts to their bellybuttons, probably Polish- ladies wrapped in duct tape. They looked like ads for the worst nightclub in Chicago.**
These were actually ads for Vogue Fabrics “Clone Yourself” custom dressform-making class. The premise seemed to be that you would pay $100, they would wrap you in duct tape, and then you’d stuff it. At the time, I laughed it off. N00bs!, I thought. Get a real dressform!, I thought.
Turns out those old ladies were onto something. After reflecting on the dresses I’ve made and contemplating my own impending wedding dress adventure, I realized that the two dressforms I have aren’t going to cut it. It’s tremendously challenging to drape on a form, then put it on a body, make changes, then put it back on the original, completely different form and continue working. Something ALWAYS gets lost in translation. If only there was a way to… CLONE MYSELF…
Armed with two rolls of duct tape, a throwaway shirt and hole-y leggings, and a very patient and loving fiancé, I set to the work of making a duct tape dressform. I feel like this would be a great activity for very religious brides to do with their intended; it’s some fun intimate time in a very safe, fully clothed way. Like, the Duggars should do it, for sure. With chaperones, of course.
A few pro tips before we get to the nitty gritty in the next post:
- Maybe don’t eat a whole pizza immediately before doing this. Some of us learned this the hard way.
- Also maybe don’t do this, like, right before your period (TMI, I know, sorry). Wrapping yourself neck to knee in duct tape is some real s*** and you’re going to be confronted with some uncomfortable truths, mostly about the pizza you just ate. Don’t mix those truths with a little extra water weight and heightened emotions.
- Remember that we have heads for a reason. Real talk: your duct tape body is going to look monstrous. You’ll think, “I can’t really look like that.” Good news: you don’t.
Ok, digest this info, prepare yourself, and get a good night’s sleep. Next time, we’re going through it step-by-step.
**or maybe best- we’re talking about Chicago, after all. Hey-o!