Paper Flowers and Some Oversharing

As a freelancer and self-employed person, I have a tendency to feel REALLY guilty if I’m not working on things that will make me money/propel my career forward/etc etc. Now, that’s not to say I don’t waste a LOT of time- because I do. My Netflix history will prove that. But I always feel really guilty about it afterwards.

I’ve taken a similar approach to wedding planning, in a way. I have a tendency to view it as a treat- a treat that makes me more than a little stressed, but a treat nonetheless. I often feel like I don’t deserve to do anything for the wedding unless I’ve gotten an acceptable amount of empire-building done for the day- which almost never happens. So I pin a lot of things, make a lot of lists, collect up materials for projects- and then feel guilty if I actually take the time to do any of those things. And I think I know why.

There’s a lot of research/literature/studies circulating about my generation’s view of marriage. You can’t get through a single one without seeing a mention of marriage as a capstone event- the beautiful cherry on top of the sundae of career success, financial security, and personal peace and wellbeing. You do it when you have all the other stuff figured out, then you ride off into the sunset with your love in a carriage made of gold towards your house made of diamonds and rubies (which was an actual floorplan I drew up when I was a kid. Every room was going to made of a different gem, because I was really into glass door knobs).

Especially in New York, where at 26, I’m a borderline child bride, I sometimes feel like I don’t deserve to be getting married. Which is crazy. Because we totally deserve to get married, even if we don’t even have a SINGLE sapphire door knob. Yes, we are figuring stuff out still. I change my mind almost every day on what I want to be when I grow up. We don’t own a house, or a car, or have a pet, or any of those things you are “supposed” to do these days before tying the knot. And it’s hard to allow yourself to take the time to do frivolous stuff, like wedding crafts, when you are trying to build a business on your own and forge a career path. A wedding is only a day, and the reasonable thing to do would be to focus on the “big” things.

But here’s the rub. Our relationship is the big thing. The biggest thing. I may waffle back and forth on what I want to do 9 to 5, or on what I want to name our future dog (Michael Doglass or David Bow-Wow-ie), but I’ve never questioned who I want to waffle WITH. So, from here on out, I’m going to stop all the whining and guilting and stuff. I’m not going to apologize to myself for celebrating this big, awesome thing in my life. Ok?

Ok.

This derailed into a very weird direction. The original point was to show you these pictures of some paper flowers I made last night, with the crepe paper I’ve had sitting on my desk for actual months.

So, I made some paper flowers. Do you like them?

I used the book Paper to Petal by Rebecca Thuss, a former style director at Martha Stewart Weddings, for my templates and instructions. It’s amazing. These are some seriously whimsical paper flowers. You won’t find a single flower in this book that will trick Mother Nature, but you’ll find a ton of amazing inspiration for color, shape, and design. The directions are thorough, the designs are solid, and the templates are all neatly numbered.

This is the garden rose from the book. In Thuss’s interpretation, the rose was green and brown. At this point, the fact that I chose to make it white shouldn’t come as a surprise. I’ve made my love of white paper flowers known before, and that still stands. BUT… I’m thinking about whether I want to try to sneak in a bit of the rainbow. We’ll see. That will be another post.

This time, I cut all the petals by hand, like a peasant. It took a very long time to make these. Almost embarrassingly long. So next time, I’ll also probably get the laser cutter involved. Otherwise, I’m not going to be able to get married for three more years.

So to sum up, this book is the s***, I have some major guilt issues, and I’m excited to get married. Until next time.