Engagement

The Wall

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I see what I want, but not how to get there.

Well, I’ve hit the wall- big time.

A weird calm swept over me for most of January. I felt optimistic, excited, even a bit relaxed.

That’s all over now.

It’s been just a rough sort of couple of weeks- a lethal combination of work stresses, crappy weather, and the ravages of time. I’m tired and stressed out. I’m fighting with Nick over very dumb things. Paper flowers. Greenery. Invitations. Why are we doing this again?

A courthouse wedding is sounding very good right now.

I wish more people would talk about the isolation of wedding planning. It can be lonely, throwing this big, dumb party for yourself. Obviously, lonely should not be taken to mean ALONE- with friends and family in my corner, I know that I have support. But, there’s just a lot. And not enough time. And not enough hands.

Today, I’m just not wanting to do any of it anymore.

This is basically my life right now:

Except mine is a metaphorical pit. Thank god- I have nowhere near the upper-body strength of Bruce Wayne.