Planning, Wedding

Everything I’m Doing Is Wrong, Apparently


I apologize for being a peasant who can’t afford 30 busboys.

I always take the click bait.

While reading the “news”* on Huffington Post yesterday, I stumbled upon this gem:

Where Not To Cut Corners When Planning Your Wedding

Written by a wedding planner (they’re always written by a wedding planner), the article warns against skimping on the number of valets you hire (whoops), not serving a full meal at the cocktail hour (again, kind of whoops), not renting separate chairs for the ceremony and reception (yeah…. whoops), and having friends and family help in any capacity (whoops, whoops, and whoops). Oh, also, ALWAYS HIRE A WEDDING PLANNER.

Says the wedding planner.

I don’t know, guys, this list seems made for rich people. While I agree with a couple of the line items wholeheartedly (like that cash bars are tacky), the rest of it seems written from a perch of privilege. In a perfect world, would my guests all sit in golden thrones while their every whim was taken care of by well-paid professionals? Would I have a staff of 50 to make sure that every glass was always full and that an empty plate never had to spoil the tableaux for even a single second? Yeah, of course. Would I rent enough chairs so that none of them would ever have to be sat in twice? Duh, I’m not a farmer.

But my issue with this list is that, well, it kind of makes it seem like there’s NOTHING you can cut corners on. Except the fun things. And that’s an awfully depressing thought for me. If I were to follow this lady’s advice with our budget, we’d end up with a big room chockfull of waiters and chairs, and almost nothing else. And that won’t fly with me.

So, I guess, as a word of warning to our guests: 

You might have to park your own car. Wait, you’re definitely going to have to park your own car.

You might have to, on occasion, get up and head to the bar yourself if you need another glass of champagne.

You won’t get a full meal during cocktail hour, so if little snacks won’t sustain you for a single hour, be sure to hit the drive-thru on the way there.

Things might not run perfectly smoothly. Actually, they almost certainly will not. I’m learning to be ok with that, so I hope that you will be, too. Even if your empty plate lingers at your seat a little longer than you would like, we just want you to have fun and celebrate with us. And that’s the one thing we aren’t willing to cut corners on.

*celebrity gossip